Changed
"Oh my gosh...What have I done? How could I have hurt her so deeply?" Karl grilled himself. Only 2 weeks ago had Kyra and he agreed to convene at the most sacred of ceremonies but now he had hurt her so badly that the relationship seemed beyond repairs.
Liberated from his addictions, Karl and his renewed image caught the nation's attention as the prodigal son had finally returned home. With his fortunes on the up, Karl rejuvenated his music career, vowing to keep strictly to the straight path this rime round. His re-captured fame catapulted him to the upper echleons of stardom and soon he had to grace many high-profile functions. Despite all his commitments and his loss of quiet, he never neglected Kyra nor so much as not include her in his daily routine. Their relationship remained strong and wedding preparations steamed ahead.
However, with all the glitz, fame and fortune, Temptation brought Karl frequently to have a drink. It first began with an obligatory drink for socializing but soon unraveled into a drinking binge almost everyday. Though he used to drink to drown his sorrows, now he could not rid himself of the longing for the bottle even if he didn't have a reason to drink. Slowly, Karl began to return home inebriated until one certain night he did not return at all.
One night became two and two to four. His disappearances became frequent and normal. Kyra who at the beginning tried to understand Karl's position began to start questioning Karl. No matter how famous he was, it was no reason to return home in a drunken stupor or sometimes never at all! Promises to stop were made and broken as fast as Karl could down a Martell. Sooner or later, it was going to lead to a confrontation. And a confrontation it was.
Karl stumbled home wasted as usual but only this time he had the audacity to carry a bottle home. Razor-sharp words were fired, accusations shot and, in the midst, one befuddled hand was raised and astutely exploded across Kyra's face. A man who was so loving, so understanding, a man who she had helped raise from the ashes, a man who never before so much as raised his voice towards her had reminded her how cruel love can be. With that slap which brought excessive physical pain, her heart fragmentized into smithereens with the multifold emotional hurt.
She had no choice. She could tolerate it no longer. For the second time in her life, the second man she loved had abused her, perhaps not always physically but definitely emotionally. She made her decision and resolved to walk away, no matter how much it would hurt her to tear herself away from Karl. And, silently, she walked away, trying desperately to erase her existence from Karl's life.
Saturday, 26 June 2010
Saturday, 19 June 2010
Facets of Impermanence
The Constant Change
It was amazing how Kyra seemed to love every place Phoebe loved, react almost the exact way she had and appreciated every little thing Karl did. She reveled in the almost obscene attention Karl gave her, enjoying his companionship and downpours of love. Karl, on the other hand, relived his best memories spent with Phoebe, deeply heartened by the chance to have found his same amazing wife in another. It was as if the two had belonged to the same beauty but cleaved apart in perfect identity.
But he knew that they were still somewhat different. Kyra no doubt had shown a different change from Phoebe. She was burdened by Life's yoke and expended everything, trying to keep pace with Life's travails. Her smile belied intense regret and her words betrayed excessive thought, perhaps trying hard to keep her distance. Karl knew better than to ask even though he desperately wanted to know. After all, he had his same share of troubles and despairs.
A whirlwind romance, it was not. Both parties were very much in bliss, enjoying the support and attention the other gave. Having both experienced much and aplenty, petty squabbles were extinct and quarrels were few and far between. However, Karl still wasn't sure if he was ready to make the jump and ask for her hand.
After all, his heart hadn't forgotten Phoebe. He was afraid he was treating Kyra as a substitute, no more than a mere transference of feelings to one similar to Phoebe. He was scared he had not changed enough for the better. He was fearful to hurt her. He was terrified to lose her.
Yet, he knew it was different. He wasn't just treating Kyra Phoebe's substitute. In her very own way, she had entered the very depths of his heart and planted herself even deeper than Phoebe did. He knew, for sure, after so many years he was finally going to make a right decision.
But that's when disaster struck.
It was amazing how Kyra seemed to love every place Phoebe loved, react almost the exact way she had and appreciated every little thing Karl did. She reveled in the almost obscene attention Karl gave her, enjoying his companionship and downpours of love. Karl, on the other hand, relived his best memories spent with Phoebe, deeply heartened by the chance to have found his same amazing wife in another. It was as if the two had belonged to the same beauty but cleaved apart in perfect identity.
But he knew that they were still somewhat different. Kyra no doubt had shown a different change from Phoebe. She was burdened by Life's yoke and expended everything, trying to keep pace with Life's travails. Her smile belied intense regret and her words betrayed excessive thought, perhaps trying hard to keep her distance. Karl knew better than to ask even though he desperately wanted to know. After all, he had his same share of troubles and despairs.
A whirlwind romance, it was not. Both parties were very much in bliss, enjoying the support and attention the other gave. Having both experienced much and aplenty, petty squabbles were extinct and quarrels were few and far between. However, Karl still wasn't sure if he was ready to make the jump and ask for her hand.
After all, his heart hadn't forgotten Phoebe. He was afraid he was treating Kyra as a substitute, no more than a mere transference of feelings to one similar to Phoebe. He was scared he had not changed enough for the better. He was fearful to hurt her. He was terrified to lose her.
Yet, he knew it was different. He wasn't just treating Kyra Phoebe's substitute. In her very own way, she had entered the very depths of his heart and planted herself even deeper than Phoebe did. He knew, for sure, after so many years he was finally going to make a right decision.
But that's when disaster struck.
Thursday, 17 June 2010
One in Two
Perhaps we'd be like thunder and lightning- their fates
forever intertwined but destined never to make it together.
One streaks across the sky,
lighting the dark overcast skies
while the other rumbles through with no form,
only forewarning of the bewildering tempest.
Striking fast with blinding velocity,
he waits for his union, cantering behind
always coming in late sometimes never arriving,
with perfect patience with a grief-stricken smile.
Yet no thunder would exist without lightning
nor will she be able to ever rid him
from her totality; perhaps someday she'll finally see
that in all truth of truths she did belong to he.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Break from writing Facets of Impermanence...Just felt like writing the poem after coming up with the first few lines... Trying to work an inverse,free-verse sonnet...don't think there's such a thing...2nd stanza is a bit vague but it's talking about different forms which may range from beliefs to appearances(i.e a romantic versus practicality)..you'd probably be able to figure out the rest=)
forever intertwined but destined never to make it together.
One streaks across the sky,
lighting the dark overcast skies
while the other rumbles through with no form,
only forewarning of the bewildering tempest.
Striking fast with blinding velocity,
he waits for his union, cantering behind
always coming in late sometimes never arriving,
with perfect patience with a grief-stricken smile.
Yet no thunder would exist without lightning
nor will she be able to ever rid him
from her totality; perhaps someday she'll finally see
that in all truth of truths she did belong to he.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Break from writing Facets of Impermanence...Just felt like writing the poem after coming up with the first few lines... Trying to work an inverse,free-verse sonnet...don't think there's such a thing...2nd stanza is a bit vague but it's talking about different forms which may range from beliefs to appearances(i.e a romantic versus practicality)..you'd probably be able to figure out the rest=)
Saturday, 5 June 2010
Facets of Impermanence
The Continued Change
Kyra.
It was unfathomable how 2 women so unrelated could be so alike. Not just in appearance but also in bearing, not just in personality but also in character; the most incredible thing was both of them sparked in Karl his willingness to selfless sacrifice for their happiness. Both induced a change so deep and poignant that Karl would resolve to give them his best.
The road to rehabilitation was tough and arduous. It was not as if he had never tried getting back on his feet; it was just he never had that person holding him up, supporting him, ensuring that he didn't fall back down. But this time it was different. He had something to look forward to and someone there to help him even when he fell to the dire abyss of hopelessness. Even if she did not know him, Kyra was Karl's sole motivation and hope.
Seeing his persistent perseverance, Karl slowly endeared himself to Kyra. She had heard him to be a philanderer and hopeless drunkard but throughout his rehabilitation not only did he not make any overt moves on her, he showed untiring discipline to recover. She did not know why he often looked to her for affirmation nor did the most ridiculous things just to make her smile sometimes at the expense of himself. But she knew she enjoyed the attention and loved the way he carried himself.
Despite all the little dropped hints and devoted attention(he never did listen to the other nurses), it still came as a surprise when he asked for her number when he finished his rehabilitation. She hesitated and deliberated. After all, a leopard could never change its spots. Could it?
Sensing her hesitance, Karl knew not to push or badger her for it. He would move her with his earnest sincerity, just like with Phoebe. He visited the hospital everyday and looked at her work. It was amazing how blissful and fulfilled he felt just looking at her, a feeling he had lost with Phoebe. He took only what she wanted to give him, never asking her for anything nor expecting anything. He did not lavish extravagance, knowing it was transient, instead he did the things which were little but mattered most.
Little by little, Kyra was moved and realised Karl did not view her as just another conquest but really meant to make her happy. She decided to give him a chance to prove himself and, at the same time, give herself an opportunity.
Kyra.
It was unfathomable how 2 women so unrelated could be so alike. Not just in appearance but also in bearing, not just in personality but also in character; the most incredible thing was both of them sparked in Karl his willingness to selfless sacrifice for their happiness. Both induced a change so deep and poignant that Karl would resolve to give them his best.
The road to rehabilitation was tough and arduous. It was not as if he had never tried getting back on his feet; it was just he never had that person holding him up, supporting him, ensuring that he didn't fall back down. But this time it was different. He had something to look forward to and someone there to help him even when he fell to the dire abyss of hopelessness. Even if she did not know him, Kyra was Karl's sole motivation and hope.
Seeing his persistent perseverance, Karl slowly endeared himself to Kyra. She had heard him to be a philanderer and hopeless drunkard but throughout his rehabilitation not only did he not make any overt moves on her, he showed untiring discipline to recover. She did not know why he often looked to her for affirmation nor did the most ridiculous things just to make her smile sometimes at the expense of himself. But she knew she enjoyed the attention and loved the way he carried himself.
Despite all the little dropped hints and devoted attention(he never did listen to the other nurses), it still came as a surprise when he asked for her number when he finished his rehabilitation. She hesitated and deliberated. After all, a leopard could never change its spots. Could it?
Sensing her hesitance, Karl knew not to push or badger her for it. He would move her with his earnest sincerity, just like with Phoebe. He visited the hospital everyday and looked at her work. It was amazing how blissful and fulfilled he felt just looking at her, a feeling he had lost with Phoebe. He took only what she wanted to give him, never asking her for anything nor expecting anything. He did not lavish extravagance, knowing it was transient, instead he did the things which were little but mattered most.
Little by little, Kyra was moved and realised Karl did not view her as just another conquest but really meant to make her happy. She decided to give him a chance to prove himself and, at the same time, give herself an opportunity.
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