Dreaming still?

I cleave the water open.

I still see her on the shore.

She waves to me. She seems to have finally acknowledged me. Yes! She did call out to me. I knew it. She had to.

A power surge.

I have to. I have to get back to the shore. I have to be reunited with her. I don't wanna let her go. I can't let her go. She means to much to me. I hold her too dearly.

There are times when your entire will can force your lifeless,shattered soul to move but now I can barely stay afloat.

Then there was hope.

She threw a straw at me. A straw???

Well, at least it is better than nothing. Perhaps now she is putting in the effort, I think.

I clutch at the straws as if they were diamonds. No, a better description would be i held them as if it was her. Using this miniscule,tiny aid, I struggle to stay afloat while trying to swim back to shore. No matter how pointless the battle is, no matter how I am tossed about like a ragged doll, I push on though my progress seems to backward rather than forward.

She throws another straw, and another. And with each straw she throws, I gain that little bit more strength, that little more hope and that little more motivation. Maybe,just maybe I can do this. Maybe, I'll be able to stand beside her again.

Maybe, this pain will all go away.

Then, I notice something at her feet. A life buoy.

Why? Why is she still throwing me straws? Why? Why can't she just throw the life buoy to me? Why? Why am I always left behind?

Almost as if hearing the screams from my heart, she picks up the life buoy and looks at it. Then, she looks at the sea again. Again, she looks at the life buoy. She seems deep in thought. She is thinking. Thinking if she should throw it to me perhaps. Fiddling with the life buoy, she deliberates, ignoring the perilous situation I am in.

She will throw it to me. Won't she?

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Dropping the life buoy, she walks away, I guess, for good, leaving me stranded, smashed into smithereens.

This time, I drown.

A Handful of Sand

It is almost like holding onto sand,
This relationship we share. Or perhaps,
It has been one-sided, after all.
When I hold loosely, everything
Just seems to slip out of my hand,
With nothing left behind. And yet,
if I hold on too tightly,it seems that
I'm squeezing out all that we have,
We share slowly but definitely surely.
So what should I do now?
Would you cup your hands with mine to prevent us from losing all?
Just say that you will hold on with me,
Just tell me you will stay. Don't leave and cast me away
As I desperately try to protect everything from slipping away.


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Unintentional sonnet, it just came out this way...